Letters To My Future Husband

It was Valentine's Day. Everyone and their momma were talking about how their significant others sent them flowers to their workplace, while others flooded my Facebook timeline with super-sappy statuses about how amazing their boyfriend or girlfriend is. Gag. 

I couldn't help but to cringe. On one hand, I was genuinely excited for these couples. On the other hand, the couple overload was just another reminder that while others were eating dinner over candlelight (probably looking at each other like the heart-eye emoji), I was sitting at home, alone ... dreaming about all I wanted to accomplish. As I continued drawing up ideas on my vision board, I felt like God spoke so clearly to my heart:

"It's Valentine's Day. Yes, you're single. But not really. You are a wife before you become a wife and your husband is a husband before he becomes your husband. He who finds a WIFE, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. How will you honor him today?"

I pondered what I had felt God speak to my heart.

Then, God gave me an idea, and a pretty direct one at that.

I smiled. God made all of this feel so real, and I hadn't even gone to do what he asked. 

When I got back to my house from Walgreens, I took out a card, sat down and began to write.

Dear Husband,

I'm writing this letter to you on Valentines Day. It seems as if everyone around me is engaged or married and I'm in my living room by myself writing you a letter. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way (unless, of course, you were here with me).

The way I look at it is ... romance for one another won't start the day we say "I Do." It starts now: in how we honor each other with our lives and our bodies before we join as one, where we begin to build patterns of denying our flesh and practicing selflessness for the bigger picture - for us. So, I figured instead of going out on a date with someone that "sorta" lines up with what I'm looking for, I'd write you. 

So yes, today is Valentine's Day. But just like every day, I'll pray for you and all you're doing. I'm so proud of you. God tells me you're handsome, strong, gentle, patient, romantic, an encourager ... and I hate to break it to you - but you'll only amplify when I come join you at your side. 

Here's my promise to you. I won't use Valentine's Day as a day to settle. I just see it as one day closer to being with you. Keep being great, baby!


Your wife

I bought $60 of cards at Walgreens that day. And today, years later, I’m still writing my future husband whenever I feel led to.

Some cards I bought him are romantic, while others are labeled “I’m sorry” or “just thinking of you.” 

I pull out the cards at random and pray before I write in each card, trusting that God will use the words I am penning now to edify and encourage my husband later. Each envelope is labeled with the date I wrote the card (dating back to 2010), and then put in a cute small box (I bought a small box in hopes that God would send me my husband before I ran out of room. Haha, just kidding).

Why would I be writing these things, when I'm not even married? I write because I know that one day, in God's perfect timing, my years of honoring my future spouse in my actions will be completely worth it, and so will he.

So I ask you, what will you do to honor your future spouse while you are single? Many singles are praying for a spouse but how many are actually preparing to be an honorable husband or wife? The habits won't just come the moment you meet that person. They start now, in your actions today. 

Writing letters to someone you don't know might not be in the "cards" for everyone (see what I did there?) 

But, there are other ways you may consider:

-Will you live unintentionally with your purity ... Or will you choose to honor your spouse by honoring your body for them?

-Will you establish healthy boundaries with friends of the opposite sex ... Or will be too emotionally invested in a friend, leaving nothing special to share with your future spouse? 

-Will you guard your heart above all else (Proverbs 4:23) or will you satisfy your flesh with random dates that "sorta" line up with what God wants for you?

When you truly decide that you are going to be intentional in honoring your future spouse with your actions today, counterfeits will come out of the woodwork! Please, DO NOT SETTLE. Pray for discernment and realize that while God wants His absolute best for you, the enemy wants to throw you off course by settling for less. 

If you start good habits now, honoring your spouse will be second nature when you are married. Honoring your future spouse may seem strange to you, or maybe not. But surely you’ve heard of the adage, “a failure to plan is a plan to fail.” So, what harm can it do? 

I hope, though, that with what I just shared with you, you can see that this can be a healthy and completely safe way to establish a heart and mind of faith and faithfulness …. you know, the kind that God can really bless.

Hey! Maybe we’ll run into each other at a local Walgreens …